Category Archives: Asperger’s

Quote of The Day

“During any moment of any given day, I’m either obsessed with what I’m doing or bored with what I’m doing.”

–Student with Asperger’s explaining the difficulty navigating everyday activities.

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January 11, 2013 · 3:22 am

New apps part of autistic kids’ therapy

New apps part of autistic kids’ therapy.

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Executive Function and IEP/504 Plan Goals for Academic and Social Success

Dilemma:  School is back in session and Section 504 plans or Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) need to be developed, reviewed, or revised.  This is overwhelming.  Where to begin? My child is doing well in school on paper but is not connecting with others.  How long do I wait?  How about executive functions like organization or mental flexibility (i.e., moving from one subject or activity to another without difficulty) that are not graded but can significantly interfere with academic and social progress in grades 4 and up?

Solution: Consider the following video guide to a child’s social skills and executive function development:

Learn more at www.mysosh.com

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New Mobile App for ‘Tweens, Teens, and Young Adults with Asperger’s Syndrome

Sōsh, the only mobile app of its kind for children and teens with social skills difficulties, has been made available in a   Lite version in the iTunes Store.  Now everyone can have full access to all of the features of this app for a trial period of one week from the time of download before deciding whether to purchase the full version.  Don’t miss the chance to try out this app!  Members of the Asperger’s community are saying, “I have never come across something so great for people with Asperger’s.”  Experts in the field and app reviewers are saying:

  • “This is a marvelous autism app.  I haven’t seen anything like it.”
  • “It is one sweet app, is strength-based and best in breed; an app that is both dignified, and appeals to kids’ strengths while building social skills at the same time. Finally, something my tween will want!”
  • “Sōsh gives you virtually every tool you could possibly have in one electronic iPhone toolbox. It’s the Swiss Army knife of apps!”
  • “This app is the most comprehensive electronic and portable toolbox for social skills development!”

For individuals ages 9 to 22 years old with Asperger’s Syndrome, difficulty with social interactions is a leading cause of stress and one of the most common calls for help.  With over 60 screens of exercises, strategies, and practical information regarding social skills, the Sōsh app will assist with social skill development, and provide feedback and tools for parents, teachers and therapists.   Examples include tools to relieve stress, guidance for appropriate social behaviors, and self-monitoring capabilities. The app is available in the iTunes app store.

About The Developer

Dr. Mark Bowers is a Pediatric Psychologist in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  He specializes in neurodevelopmental diagnoses (i.e., Autism, Asperger’s, ADHD, and Learning Difficulties) and he is an expert in social skills.  Dr. Bowers has contributed to articles in WebMD magazine, Scholastic, and Parenting: The Early Years.  In addition to developing the Sōsh mobile app, he is the author of the book Sōsh: Improving Social Skills with Children and Adolescents.  Visit http://www.mysosh.com for a full review of the app’s potential to improve social skills.

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Social Skills Part II: Behavior then Mood

I want my clients to begin their experimentation into the social world by making impressions.  In order to do this, they must be out and about.  Often times, individuals I work with do not come in to visit with me until self-esteem has begun to suffer.  As a result, I may also be dealing with some mood difficulties.  My role, provided that we are not dealing with a clinically significant major depressive disorder, is to begin coaching the individual with regard to the behavior preceding the mood.  In other words, my clients often times do not feel like they would like to go to the football game on Friday or feel up to attending the homecoming dance.  This consistently comes up in my social skills groups where at least one child does not want to participate or feel like they need to be a part of the group.  They have yet to experience the behavior of being in the group so how in the world would they know that they won’t like it?  Despite the potential to sustain the current social difficulties, there is usually at least one parent who gives in and allows their child to avoid attending the group.   Progress can never be made when this happens.

Staying home will do nothing more than exacerbate the current feeling (I don’t need to go to a group or be social).  Instead, the behavior must come before the desired feeling.  Specifically, individuals must attend the football game or they must attend the dance before they can begin to truly experience the feeling of improved self-esteem, for example.  Most of my clients, although they object to this initially, return to my office to inform me that although going to the dance or football game was the very last thing that they wanted to do on that particular evening, once they were there it was not so bad and they actually ended up enjoying themselves.  Keep in mind that although I use dances and sports games as examples, the behaviors preceding the mood applies to all ages: going to the playgroup, playground, birthday party, etc.

I think it’s also important to illustrate that we must take the pressure of social skills off of these individuals.  In other words, there is no expectation when we are just getting started with making impressions other than the individual simply must attend events.  That’s it, plain and simple: attend the event or activity.  I don’t care if you talk to anyone.  I don’t care if you make any eye contact with anyone.  We have plenty of time to work on that.  One of the biggest hurdles that I see is getting my clients to leave their home because they often do not feel like it.  This is the time that I remind individuals that the behavior must often precede the mood.

This is important because individuals who are feeling dejected or otherwise depressed in any manner may not have the energy, confidence, or motivation to make that initial leap into the social world.  My response is that continuing to avoid the social world only exacerbates the current difficulties.  I am not asking for these individuals to go out on any particular evening or to attend any particular event and come home with a new friend or social group.  I am simply asking that they be seen in the social environment and thus make an impression.  The behavior preceding the mood is important because these individuals may not feel like being social on any particular evening.  In fact, this often perpetuates the addiction cycle of video games as a self-medicating remedy.  Indeed, they will use video games as means of avoidance or as an excuse for why they won’t attend (“I don’t want to go because I’m really into this game…don’t bother me!”).

Client after client returns to my office to tell me that although they were very upset with me and did not want to go to the school dance or football game they took a risk (with the help of sufficient support and encouragement) and they went.  Although they felt ‘awful’ prior to attending the event, once they were there they realized it wasn’t so bad.  Further, the strategy of simply being in the social environment paid off because there were no pressures to achieve any outcome other than attendance.  I know we would all like to jumpstart this process and in our typical American fashion get to the outcome quicker and without much work.  Unfortunately, it does not work that way when dealing with social interactions.  If you are not prepared to take the preliminary steps you will not be successful.  If you rush this process you will not be successful.  Take your time and be willing to take a risk.  Some discomfort is inevitable before progress can be achieved.

“Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” –Frederick Wilcox

Dr. Mark Bowers is a Licensed Pediatric Psychologist at the Ann Arbor Center for Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

© 2009 Mark Bowers, Ph.D.

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‘Tis the Season: Preparing Your Child for the Holidays

No matter the holiday traditions or customs you observe, one thing is for certain: the children will be home for a week or two beginning very soon!  No reason to panic.  After all, adults never experience any stress over the holidays so why should kids?  I tried to effectively demonstrate a tongue-in-cheek tone with that last sentence.  I was testing your electronic social skills.  Okay, back to the topic at hand.  The children will be home for a while and you are becoming anxious that tempers may begin to flare or boredom may ensue.  I offer the following general suggestions to hopefully sustain your holiday cheer throughout the school break.

  • Increase predictability at home.  This involves some scheduling, although flexibility should be allowed.  For teens who need to catch up on some sleep, there should be parameters such as “awake by noon” but no need to be so scheduled (“Be up by nine because I said so!”) that arguments are inevitable .  The more that children know what to expect, the less stress that will result when making transitions.
  • Have a portion of each day scheduled but plan the rest of the time with the child by allowing for their input.  You may need to offer a list of suggestions for them to choose from, but you should not be trying to win the contest for Entertainer of the Year.  thus, it is not your responsibility to ensure that your child is having fun all the time!  It may be useful to have a written or picture schedule for some children.  This is especially helpful when you are resting in the afternoon and your child comes to you to say, “I’m booooored!”  You can calmly refer them to the schedule and add, “I know you will figure out something fun to do from all those options, honey.”
  • Keep an eye on your own stress level as there is a trickle down effect.  As we reunite with family, all of those fun dynamics from childhood tend to surface.  Children generally have fewer demands on them during breaks which is why they tend to do better behaviorally.  If you need a break from your relatives, then don’t over schedule.  Your kids will pick up on your stress and react accordingly.
  • Remember to limit television time.  I know this sounds crazy.  After all it serves as an effective pacifier and most parents will ignore this suggestion.  However, trying to get the child away from the TV after they are allowed unlimited viewing will not likely be met with willingness from the child.  The recommendation for television viewing during the holidays is 1-2 hours each day (which includes other screen time such as computers and video games).  Some children can effectively manage more, other cannot.  Certainly, exceptions can be made for holiday movies, family videos, etc.  The general rule is to keep an eye on the time, though, because school will again be in session and the child will then have to “detox” from all the television viewing as they begin to focus on the “boring” schoolwork again.  Maybe reading a fun book in exchange for some of that TV time might keep the old brain cells fresh and sharp?
  • Whenever possible, prepare the child in advance for holiday visits.  If only someone would prepare you!  It never hurts to discuss who will be there, what will take place (as much as you can anticipate before the first family argument occurs), and how long the visit will last.  Children with sensory issues may need an escape plan that can be determined upon arriving to the party or gathering (or in advance if the location is familiar).  The child can use this “escape” for a set period of time to regulate him/herself and then must return to the gathering.  Bring a familiar item from home if your child is anxious about these visits.  Also, talk to your family members in advance and if your child is shy or anxious, remind them to let the child warm up and not force hug, kisses, etc. upon greeting the child.
  • Finally, prepare the child for transitions.  My colleague, Dr. Rick Solomon, has devised 20 Transition Tricks that he recommends for parents who have a child who cannot shift easily from one activity to another.  His general rule of thumb is to acknowledge the child’s feeling of not wanting to transition but then to begin to prepare them for what awaits.  There are a variety of strategies such as time warnings, use of humor, and bribes-but ultimately the child needs to go where we need them to or there will be a consequence.  Try to avoid these control battles whenever possible, though, and with some scheduling and preparation this will hopefully be a safe and happy holiday for everyone!  If it’s not the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” then join the club.  By keeping expectations reasonable and being able to laugh off some of the family dynamics that play themselves out across most households, this may result in the impression of a relaxing and enjoyable holiday!

Dr. Mark Bowers is a Licensed Pediatric Psychologist at the Ann Arbor Center for Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

© 2009 Mark Bowers, Ph.D.

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Social Skills Part I: ‘Impressions’ and Being ‘Out and About’

night_game

This is the first in an ongoing series I will be presenting on Social Skills.  I spend a significant portion of my clinical practice working with children and teens on social skills.  Many parents are curious about my approach and philosophy on teaching social skills, so I thought I would begin posting my thoughts on the matter (in no specific order).  I will being by discussing ‘impressions’ and the initial need to be seen and not heard.

I often discuss social interactions as similar to advertising impressions.  For example, when businesses buy billboard advertising on the side of highways, they often first collect statistics on how many “impressions” their billboard location has on a particular day.  The advertisers want to know specifically how many individuals will see their advertisement over the course of a day, week, month, or year.

Individuals with social skills difficulties often become dejected and suffer a loss of self-esteem when they make one or perhaps even a handful of attempts at engaging others in a social interaction and these attempts are unsuccessful.  I am often able to use my advertising analogy with my clients who will begin to understand that not every person who drives by the Pepsi billboard on the highway is going to purchase that particular product.

When the available options for friendships is smaller such as in an elementary school, certainly the stakes are higher and each impression that is made must count.  However, I often coach my high school-age clients that they cannot expect to sit in their basement playing video games every weekend and then come into my office wondering why they are not more popular in school.  We often discuss the ‘content and process’ approach to social interactions which can be loosely applied to various junior high school and high school activities.

For example, I may work with individuals who have little interest in sports especially when it comes to participating in them.  However, anyone who has attended high school is well aware of the fact that, especially during the fall and early winter months, the place to be is the local high school football game on Friday night.  When it comes to “impressions” such as those found in advertising, being seen even if not heard is a basic starting block for my clients.

I have to remind these individuals to relax initially and just be there rather than try to initiate interactions with others or practice social skills techniques they may have learned by reading a book or from a counseling session or group.  I am generally opposed to social skills techniques being ‘taught’ because the nature of individuals with social difficulties is to study and memorize something in a rote fashion or linear manner and social interactions are far from rote or linear.  More on that topic in a future posting…

Indeed, although these individuals would love nothing more than to reduce social interactions down into a mathematical formula where there is a very specific path that must be followed in order to reach the appropriate or correct outcome, social interactions are generally not linear or rote, and are instead fluid and contain millions of variables and exponents that might be comparable to the mathematical variable of (Pi).  Thus, I want my clients to begin their experimentation into the social world by making impressions.  In order to do this, they must be out and about.

Dr. Mark Bowers is a Licensed Pediatric Psychologist and Autism/Anxiety expert at the Ann Arbor Center for Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  Learn more about his Social Skills groups here.

© 2009 Mark Bowers, Ph.D.

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“Cats Are Autistic Dogs” Part II: Notes on Asperger’s

ASD PuzzleThe response in my office and on the web has been so positive to my previous posting on Asperger’s features, that I thought I would share some more thoughts.  I would also like to thank the people over at CafeMom.com for adding my blog to their impressive Autism/Asperger’s/PDD awareness group.

  • Aspies are usually the offspring of Asperger’s fathers who are socially shy and usually have careers in engineering, computers, accounting, or the math/science fields.  The moms of Aspies tend to be teachers, social worker types who are very outgoing, social, and often Type A or ‘organized’ personalities.
  • Siblings of Aspies tend to be gifted/talented, have ADHD or OCD features, or even have anorexia diagnoses (there is a perfection element somewhere in the gene pool).
  • Group projects in school are one of the biggest difficulties because of the social element.  This is the same reason why Aspies do so well in solitary occupations like computer programming but then begin to struggle when they are promoted to management.  Aspies do not manage people and social interactions well.
  • We don’t give Aspies enough credit for how hard they work during the school day.  They keep it together during school and then ‘fall apart’ or are completely exhausted when they return home.  They work at least three times as hard to keep up with the social environment inherent in the school setting.  REMEMBER: Aspies need to learn both academics and social skills in school while neurotypicals only need to learn academics (the social aspect comes naturally).  Imagine the energy differences between the two groups after the same school day!
  • Aspies in history were found in monasteries or were carpenters, jewelery/watch makers, and explorers.
  • Young Aspies may look like children but they act like adults.  Their social difficulties attract bullies as well as female peers who are the ‘caregiver’ type.
  • We usually make the error of telling Aspies, “I shouldn’t have to tell you…” when in fact we have to instruct them every step of the way when it comes to social interactions.  Remember to use logic, not punishment.
  • Aspies value intelligence more than anything.
  • When trying to get an Aspie to stop a behavior, use their desire for intellect to your advantage.  For example, if your child has difficulty sharing, try telling him, “Smart people share.”  Sometimes Aspies will hear foul language and repeat it without knowing the meaning behind it.  Telling the child, “Smart people don’t use those words” will usually do the trick.  The other technique is to exaggerate your response to the word such as holding your hands over your ears if your child repeats something inappropriate and yelling “Ouch!  That hurts my ears!”
  • Aspies often tune out during class lectures or social situations because their thought is, “If this is not one of my strong interests then why should I involve myself with it?”
  • The rigidity in thinking inherent among Aspies also creates difficulty converting thoughts and emotions into speech (communicating feelings) as well as getting thoughts from one’s head onto paper for a report in school, for example.
  • As the chronological age of the Aspie increases, the emotional, maturational, and social development stays at a younger level.  Younger neurotypical siblings will eventually surpass their older sibs in social and emotional development.
  • Aspies look at the action, not at the motives of the action.  So when they are ‘hit’ by a peer who was giving them a joking tap on the shoulder, they tend to retaliate because their thinking says, “He hit me, I ‘m going to hit him back!”  Guess who ends up in the principal’s office?
  • The nature and severity of Aspie symptoms vary dramatically from day-to-day.  This is a ‘swiss-cheese’ developmental presentation with no clear, consistent pattern.  This not only complicates the diagnosis, but schools often try to argue that a child does not have Asperger’s because of having ‘good’ days at times.  They also say things like ‘he is so smart’ or ‘he makes good eye contact.’  Parents often know that a particular day is a ‘good one’ versus a full-on ‘Aspie day’.  Also, full moons actually seem to have an effect on severity of symptoms!
  • Aspies misinterpret behaviors.  An adult may raise their voice to be heard in a crowded room or to make a point.  An Aspie will always see shouting as anger and thus the reasons for raising one’s voice must be explored in depth.
  • If your Aspie child is upset, consider the following:
  • People are confusing to Aspies.  Thus, you want to eliminate the social context when the child is upset.  This is not the time for a face-to-face chat…face the wall if you need to!  (Dr. Mark sits to the side of the child and speaks in the same direction the child is looking..don’t worry about eye contact at this moment!).
  • Tell the child, “I don’t need to know what happened right now.”
  • Keep emotionally calm yourself.  Adding your own emotion at this time is like pouring gas on a fire.  Be sure to tell the child, “I’m not upset with you.”
  • Begin helping the child to calm down by suggesting closing their eyes, deep breathing, and other relaxation strategies.
  • Compliment the child and give them something to look forward to.  “I think you handled this situation with intelligence and I know that the next time you are upset you will do another good job.  What do you say we go look at your book of the planets?!”
  • Children with Asperger’s should be allowed to complete a project on emotions/social skills at least one hour each week while in school beginning in Kindergarten through 12 years of age.  Schools need to do a better job of teaching these children the Hidden Curriculum.
  • For every hour an Aspie is social, they need about an hour to unwind and decompress.  Thus, there is not enough time to unwind after a full school day.  Ever wonder why the stress level is so high during the school week?  How about the trouble getting homework completed?

Dr. Mark Bowers is a Licensed Pediatric Psychologist and Autism/Anxiety expert at the Ann Arbor Center for Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

© 2009 Mark Bowers, Ph.D.

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“Cats are Autistic Dogs”: Notes on Asperger’s

The title of this posting is taken from Dr. Tony Attwood’s discussion on Asperger’s last week.   As indicated in a previous posting, I had the opportunity, or shall I say privilege, to spend an entire day hearing Tony speak his thoughts on Autism and more specifically Asperger’s Syndrome.  I thought I would share some talking points as they relate to Asperger’s for those of you who were unable to attend.  Please note that the term ‘Aspie’ is not derogatory and is instead embraced by many individuals with Asperger’s when describing themselves.

  • Aspies use intellect, not intuition.  Only logic works when trying to discipline…punishment does not work!
  • Handwriting is a huge problem for Aspies, but handwriting is a 19th Century skill.  Teach kids to type!
  • Aspies may tune out because if it is not one of their key interests, then why learn it?
  • Preoccupation with specific topics of interest produces euphoria and enjoyment that Aspies cannot obtain otherwise.
  • Girls are able to hide their symptoms so well that diagnosis may be missed or delayed as much as 10 years.  Girls will often escape into imagination, fantasy, and fiction and “pretend to be normal.”
  • Asperger’s includes all neurotypical characteristics magnified to the most extreme degree.
  • There is a compulsion to complete tasks that Aspies experience which makes transitions difficult.
  • Aspies generally DON’T learn from mistakes..and they don’t naturally know what else to do when faced with a challenging social situation.
  • Anxiety begins to be expressed in the form of avoidant or controlling behaviors as a means of coping with uncomfortable feelings.
  • When emotions run high, there are three ways Aspies try to repair them: 1) Aggression/Rage, 2) Isolation, and 3) Avoidance via heightened special interests (e.g., video games).
  • Sadness and anxiety are expressed by Aspies in the form of anger, especially in school when Aspies are not allowed to use one of the above three ways of coping/repairing heightened emotions.
  • For Aspies, anger is the ‘acceptable’ way to express sadness.  It also allows the individual to get the uncomfortable rise in emotional feelings over with by exploding and then feeling better quickly as if nothing ever happened.
  • Top three trigger words guaranteed to get a rise out of Aspies: 1) No, 2) Wait, and 3) Change
  • An Aspies’ need for affection can fit inside a cup.  A neurotypical’s need for affection can fit inside a bucket.
  • Aspies generally have an intense dislike for public praise.
  • ‘Cats are Autistic Dogs’ is an observation by Attwood meant to illustrate the differences in social abilities/interests of the two animals.
  • For More on this Topic, view Part II of this post here.

Dr. Mark Bowers is a Licensed Pediatric Psychologist and Autism/Anxiety expert at the Ann Arbor Center for Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

© 2009 Mark Bowers, Ph.D.

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Autism and OCD in Children

hand_washingAutism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can and do occur at the same time.  OCD is a specific diagnosis under a larger umbrella of anxiety.  Children with OCD experience unwanted and intrusive thoughts that they can’t seem to get out of their heads (obsessions), often compelling them to repeatedly perform ritualistic behaviors and routines (compulsions) to try and ease their anxiety.  Children with ASD generally have repetitive, perseverative thoughts that are intense in nature, much like children with purely OCD symptoms.  The big difference is that children with OCD do not like the experience of having repetitive thoughts and would do anything to get rid of the thoughts (such as washing one’s hands 25 times).  Children with Autism Spectrum diagnoses are not bothered by their repetitive behaviors and thoughts, and instead are usually comforted by them (such as playing with a train in a repetitive fashion for hours at a time).

Anxiety is highly prevalent among children with Autism Spectrum diagnoses (greater than 35% of children experience both).  This is due to a combination of genetics, brain development, and higher levels of stress.  The error that many schools and therapists often make is attributing a child’s anxiety symptoms to his or her Autism diagnosis (i.e., “The only way to really reduce  anxiety and aggression is to treat the Autism.”)  For example, many children are referred into social skills groups when what they really need is help with anxiety that is interfering with their social functioning.  Highly anxious children with OCD may begin to act out behaviorally in school prompting teachers to encourage (some might say ‘coerce’ or ‘force’) parents to begin medicating the behavior.  The concerns here is twofold: 1) the behavior is numbed with medication and the root anxiety is never truly addressed (i.e., stop the medication and everything returns to the way it was), and 2) the school may begin to implement safety nets such as increased para support to keep the behaviors from occurring while again failing to adequately address the underlying anxiety symptoms.

The question often asked is, “Can you really treat a child who has both an autism spectrum diagnosis and OCD?”  The answer is “yes” and new research is beginning to show that there are some exciting recent behavioral treatments out there for these children.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based treatment for anxiety that has been established by the American Psychological Association as effective for children.  A recent study of CBT for neurotypical children with anxiety (Wood et al., found):

  • Childrens’ school performance improved & they attended school more regularly
  • Children had more friends & better quality friendships
  • Children got along better with family members
  • Children had higher self-esteem

The authors of that study have adapted the neurotypical CBT protocol for children with autism spectrum and are finding some promising results.   In general the results suggest that the authors’ adaptations of the pre-existing CBT manual can be effective for treating anxiety such as OCD in children with autism (research article link).  This treatment manual is available to practitioners and families, a sample of which can be viewed here.   Thus, there is hope for effective anxiety treatment for your child who also has an autism spectrum diagnosis.  It is highly recommended that you seek out services from a pediatric specialist who has training and experience treating children with co-occurring anxiety and autism spectrum diagnoses.

On a personal note and aside, I will be spending tomorrow with noted Asperger’s guru Dr. Tony Attwood  so stay tuned for a blog later this week where I hope to share some new ‘nuggets’ of information.

Dr. Mark Bowers is a Licensed Pediatric Psychologist and Autism/Anxiety expert at the Ann Arbor Center for Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

© 2009 Mark Bowers, Ph.D.

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Filed under Anxiety, Asperger's, Autism, CBT, OCD, PDD-NOS

Video Game Addiction

Doh!

Many of the families I see at The Ann Arbor Center for Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics have at least one child who occupies most of their time with a video game system.  While many ‘tweens’ and adolescents enjoy video games, I see many children who have diagnoses of Asperger’s Syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Delay-Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) whose interest in this electronic media stretches beyond simple enjoyment.  Especially during the junior high and teen years when children are feeling more socially isolated or have preexisting social skills difficulties that make interpersonal interactions uncomfortable; video games provide an escape.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines recommend that parents limit a child’s “screen time” (includes video games, computer, television) to one to two hours per day at most.  An alternative that I often recommend to my families is to limit screen time to one hour on school nights and two to three hours a day on weekends and holidays.  My intention is not to make the child’s life miserable (which they often accuse me of trying to do!) but rather to open up opportunities for relationships.  Notice I recommend that parents limit, not eliminate video games.  Video games are not interactive between people.  Even if your child plays with a friend in the same room or online, this is not a spontaneous and reciprocal social interaction.  Indeed, if you turned off the video game and asked the two kids in the room to get a conversation going for more than a few minutes, they would inevitably become uncomfortable and want to discuss or return to playing the video game.

In the world of autism spectrum, professionals like myself are always concerned about Comfort Zone activities.   An autistic child’s Comfort Zone is his neuropsychological sense of comfort that occurs when he is doing what he wants and likes to do, especially when he is repeating activities.  The comfort zone is based on the child’s atypical neurological system that makes the child want to keep the world the same.  Thus, Comfort Zone activities for the young child may begin as lining up toys, progress to obsession with trains, and then morph into video game addiction during the teen years.

Although the strategies for how to wean a child from excessive video game usage vary from family to family, a few bits of advice may provide a good start:

  • Make conversation a priority in you home.
  • Read to your children.
  • Don’t use video games as a reward or punishment.
  • Encourage active recreation.
  • Get the TV sets and video game systems out of your children’s bedrooms.

Children who excessively play video games tend to do so for a reason.   Whether it is loneliness, social skills difficulties, feelings of isolation, anxiety, or depression; the use of video games becomes self-medicating and a means to quickly pass the time.  The strategies mentioned above are only a drop in the bucket if your child is experiencing difficulties in any of the areas just mentioned.  If you are fortunate enough to be reading this article while your child is still young, the best form of intervention is prevention.  So start early and set those limits now while encouraging more appropriate use of your child’s time.  Get them involved in fun activities out of the home to keep them interested and active.  If your child is already hooked into the video games for an excessive amount of time, it may be worthwhile to seek a professional consultation to begin breaking the so-called video game “addiction.”

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